How to Support Your TCK Through a Move

The Most Important Thing to Understand First

The research on what helps TCKs is surprisingly consistent. The single biggest protective factor is not the number of countries lived in, the quality of the schools attended, or even the stability of housing. It is the quality of the relationship between parent and child during the transition. Children who feel seen, heard, and allowed to grieve do significantly better than those whose grief is minimised or redirected into excitement about the new place.

• Am I allowing my child to feel sad, angry, or scared about the move, or am I inadvertently communicating that those feelings are not welcome?
• Do I have my own unprocessed feelings about the move that are shaping how I talk about it?
• Am I treating the goodbye as something to get through, or as something worth doing carefully?
• What does my child specifically need most right now — and is that the same as what I think they need?

Practical Questions for Families in Transition

• Have we given our child enough advance notice and enough honest information about the move?
• Does our child have a way to stay connected with the friends and places they are leaving?
• Are we arriving somewhere with enough time to settle before the school year begins?
• Does the new school have experience with internationally mobile students?
• What is our plan if our child is struggling to settle after three months?